Bill of NON Rights

NEW AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION

'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.


ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)


ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.


ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair, sniff the gas chamber, swing from the gallows, or take it in the vein!!


ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.


ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.


ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!


ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

Happy freaking birthday

My birthday is tomorrow. I have plans to eat at the Melting Pot with my SIL and invited my mother to go (God knows why.) The first thing out of her mouth was "How late are we going to be there?" She calls today to ask if she can take me to lunch. I remind her my dad is driving up, an hour and a half, to take me to lunch and to look at washers and dryers (for him, his 1970's models finally gave in.) I'm also going to see if I can find something nice to wear to dinner since I've been living in yoga pants and t shirts. Maternity clothes are either expensive or ugly. This is when my mother chooses to have a tantrum. I remind her the deal was that I was going to lunch with Dad and to dinner with her. She says her and her husband need to go mow my grandmothers lawn. Fine. Go mow the damn grass. Never mind that my worthless cousin lives next door and shares the same grass. Lord forbid she have to mow it. Really, I could care less if my mother shows up. I invited her only b/c listening to her bitch about not being invited is somewhat more painful than having flaming toothpicks shoved in my ears. Now she's upset b/c I refuse to change my reservations to an earlier time. I tried to explain that after lunch and shopping that I'd like to come home and shower and get ready before going out to eat. I hate rushing almost as much as I hate being late. Besides, it's my birthday. Then she points out I didn't call her in her birthday last year. I did call. Five times. She never picked up and never called me back. Aside from that she is the mother, I am the child. At some point she stopped caring about that. Every conversation I have with her remindsme how selfish and narcissistic she is. I keep blaming her. Question is, when am I going to learn that I cannot control anyone's actions but my own. I have to find a way to stop caring so much that she doesn't care. I'm having a new baby and raising a very sweet little boy, as well as nurturing a marriage to a wonderful man. I don't need toxic people in my life.

Perfect day

This morning my adorable 3 year old boy slept in until 8:30! We got up, had waffles and milk. He watched a show while I showered and dressed and we headed out to JumpZone, a local play place with these humongous imflateable bouncers. We played for an hour and a half! Yes, my almost 7 month pregnant self was bouncing right along with him. My son was polite and shared well the entire time. We left there and walked around the shopping center to Pizza Hut where he ate all of his spaghetti and didn't make a mess. For that we walked next door and had ourselves some yummy Marble Slab ice cream. Chocolate with rainbow sprinkles for him and peach with granola mixed in for me. After that we headed home so he could rest since tonight is a church night. On top of that it's a 4 day week! How much better does it get?