The joy of discovery

So Stinker is 2 1/2 and is discovering new stuff every second. He's already the size of a 5 year old (literally at 42.5 lbs and 43 inches) and this kid has a vocabulary that will floor you. He uses words like ludicrous and ridiculous and in the correct context even. He also has a look and a tone of voice that makes most grown adults feel stupid. He is my child.
So tonight he's taking his shower. He hates baths so I stand him in the shower and wash him then leave him to his own devices (with everything soap like out of reach and while checking on him often) and that's just what we did this evening. So I'm in the next room checking email and I hear this "Mommy mommy mommmy....." in an alarmed high pitch screech. So up I go into the bathroom and I pull back the curtain to find my son butt naked on his tiptoes, yelping and dancing around the water spray like a rabid dog. He looks at me with the most sincere look and says "That's water's freaking cold!" That's my boy.
I wondered how long it was going to take him to find the Cold and Hot controls. Thankfully he turned off the hot water instead of the other way around.

Blah

I'm tired. It's Thursday and I'm dreading work tomorrow. I have heartburn and no motivation. I get a 3 day weekend and I've got nothin to do. I can even get excited about football season. What's wrong with me?!

Chavez, poster boy for control freak

Turns out old Hugo just can't stand not having absolute control over everyfreakinthing so he's decided he must play God and "fairly distribute the sunrise." I. Shit. You. Not. Apparantly fair distribution of the sun falls into the duties of a dictator. I'm assuming he also enjoys the privledge of distributing jobs, wealth, and food. But Lord knows giving the poor kids more light to do their chores makes him such a "nice guy." Forget the fact it's partly his fault they're poor to begin with. Asshole. Socialists scare me.

Speaking of love

Seems two of my favorite people in the blog world are all in love and stuff. Which is totally wonderful and I wish the best for them. I do hope we get the occasional peak into their budding relationship though. Cause I'm nosey like that. Just sayin.

And here in my own little love bubble it's my 4 year wedding anniversary! We'll be going out to Charleston's with our maid of honor/best man (who are also married) on Saturday just as we do every year. But today is just for us. So tonight I'll be cooking my amazing husband his favorite meal (with dessert) and afterwards he'll get to see what I bought at Victoria's Secret yesterday. :wink wink: I can't believe it's been four years. He's given me patience, strength, the ability to trust and to be myself. He also helped me create the cutest little bugger ever whom we both just adore. I look forward to many more years of parenting, loving, and laughs with him. I hope everyone finds this kind of love someday!

Love

I'm having a good day. It's Friday, I get to hang out with my favorite SIL this evening and have good food and a few beers. Tomorrow I get to see my dad and a bunch of family I haven't seen in ages. And Sunday we've got a 50th Birthday party for one of hubby's friends that should be a ton of fun. And on top of all that I have a man in my life that can make me feel loved and sexy and feminine and cared for and strong and I couldn't ask for more. Well except for more alone time. But we're working on that!

Not bad

Except for the Love score but that's a whole other post.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.1
Mind:	7.6
Body:	8.9
Spirit:	9.6
Friends/Family:	7.1
Love:	2.7
Finance:	7.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

I met Mitt Romney!

And I'm totally geeky excited about it. He held a town hall meeting this afternoon in our student union and he really does rock. He's funny. He flat out told everyone one of the things we should be instilling in our kids is to actually get married before you get knocked up. He's supportive of the 2nd Amendment the way it should be supported. He thinks the illegal's that are already here should get there ass to the back of the line (screw amnesty) but supports everyone who comes here legally. When we asked him questions he actually answered the question that was asked with out having to run around the building twice trying to avoid it. Every question that was asked was answered in a straightforward, no bullshit, like it or not way. I gotta respect that. Now I'm not saying I've given up on old Fred but at this point, after hearing several of the candidates speak in person, Mitt is at the top of my list. Plus he quoted Reagan ("I'm not saying Democrats are ignorant. it's just that everything they think they know is wrong.")AND he told the guy trying to get himt o leave that he wasn't done talking yet and that whatever he had planned would have to wait. He stuck around an hour more than was planned to answer all of the qustions we had. I like him. And I like the plans he's got and the fact that his sense of humor rocks. He didn't come off canned like the others I've seen have. It was a ton of fun and I learned a lot about him. Of course at this point "Anyone but Hillary" is becoming my motto.

What's On Your TiVo?

So I'm obsessed with TiVo. I'm also obsessed about what others TiVo. What is it they deem good enough to watch in "real time" and what do they want to see but think can wait?

There are a few shows that I watch ASAP. I'll wait about 20 minutes after they start so I can FF through the commercials but still, I insist on being there to watch the night that there on. This list is short but includes Grey's Anatomy and Boston Legal (mmmmm Patrick Dempsey and James Spader) along with Law and Order: Criminal Intent (but only he ones with Vincent DiNofrio) and Law and Order: SVU.

My husband insists on being there to watch Veronica Mars which seems odd to me but I can see how even a grown man could become obsessed with Kristen Bell.

Then there are the shows that go straight to TiVo. Though I must say Burn Notice is quickly becoming a reason to stay awake. Jeffery Donovan is H-O-T and the show is engaging and hilarious.

I'm a reality show addict. It's sad. I know the shows are awful and I won't insist on being home to watch them but I TiVo them and save them for rainy, bored, or laundry days. Shows like Girls Next Door, Top Chef and Hey Paula. I know they're stupid when I watch them but hey, a girls got to have a guilty pleasure right?

I also TiVo my "girly" shows. Army Wives, Side Order of Life and My Boys.

I am a TiVo addict. I record all of these shows and they sit there, on my Recorded List until I finally have some free time that I feel I can use to do with what I please. Which means it isn't unusual to have 3 weeks worth of shows all recorded and waiting to be watched. Today however, the house is clean, the kiddo is with Grandma and i have 4 loads of laudry to fold. I'm going to indulge in bad TV.

So what's on your TiVo?

Handy Manny

Am I the only one who thinks Handy Manny has a thing going with Hardware Store Kelly?

TANSTAAFL

Ok I got tagged by Babs to carry on this meme. I'm supposed to write something giving an example of the phrase, "There Ain't No Such Thing as a Free Lunch" in action. And tag five other people.
Here's what I'm going with-

The increase in minimum wage. Why is every one so freaking excited about this? Oh yes, because they haven't thought it through.The House voted to increase the minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.25 and hour over the next two years. To those making $5.15 an hour that sounds great. And extra two plus bucks an hour Woo-Hoo!

Wrong. Here's what going to happen Mr. and Mrs. Minimum Wage... The small businesses are going to raise their prices in order to compensate for the extra income they're paying out. Which means your cost of living is at the very least going to remain the same if not even increase. Instead of paying .98 for that can of green beans on your $5 and hour income you'll be paying over a dollar on your new and improved income. Not to mention that new nifty tax bracket the good old government put you in. You know, the bracket that means they can take more money out in taxes every week? Because they'll raise your income sure as shit but they certainly aren't going to change the brackets to give themselves less money.

And in two years when the final raise is given, those of you working for Small Business, who are really the only people still paying $5.15 an hour, are going to find yourselves totally unemployed. Because no matter how much they raise their prices to compensate for the income increase many of them are still going to find themselves in a crunch. And they're going to have to sink or swim. When your faced with the proposition of drowning, getting rid of dead weight is your first choice. So now, not only will the prices of goods have increased, suddenly, you find your self with no job at all. And you can bet your bippy that the welfare checks aren't going to increase with the minimum wage.

So Mr. Minimum Wage Earner, before you get all excited over the idea that the this new Democratic government is so wonderful that they've decided to give you more money remember that shit travels downhill. Like Reagan himself joked "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

Confucious says.....

Your Girl Parts Are Named:

The Fortune Nookie

Girl Parts Name Generator

Courtesie of Babs

Insanity would be a better plea

Apparantly Jose Padilla (you know the guy who was involved in all those terrorist plots) is attempting to justify his actions by saying that the trial infringes on his religious beliefs. Now here all this time I thought that defense was used to protect little Muslims who wanted to wear their burkas to school or the Southern Baptist kid who wants to pray at the lunch table. Silly me for not realizing that protection of religious beliefs in this country could get you off after you got busted trying to build a dirty bomb. Dude, you were going to blow people up not just stand on the street corner screaming at them that they were infidels. I gotta tell ya, threatening me with a bomb is so not the best way to get me to convert to your "peaceful" religion. Besides I thought death was supposed to make you a martyr or something. If your heaven is so Divine with all the underage virgins running all over the place why are you so scared of death now?

Silly me for not knowing the difference between "defensive jihad" and plain old terrorism. Though to be fair you could just acquire, legally, a good old Glock. Then the judge might have bought that load of horse manure. But I'm telling ya buddy, when you went with the radioactive explosive you pretty much shot any self defense chance all to hell. So why don't be a man and quite trying to weasel your way out of it. Be a good little terrorist and let 'em stick that little needle in your arm. I promise it'll only sting for a second.

Exhibitionists

Hubby and I are going to the lake this evening with some friends. On of those friends has a new girlfriend. Now neither my other half nor I are huge drinkers. We have a beer or two when we go out to eat Mexican and he'll have a beer when his brother comes over (the SIL and I drink Mimosa's). But when we go to the lake all bets are off. We've got a 24 foot pontoon boar that we sleep on when we go so since driving isn't an issue we've been known to knock down a few. Now hubby has lived in the same town nearly all his life and most of his friends he's had for 16-17 years. Once you fill them full of liquid courage and throw in their wives or girlfriends someone is getting nekkid. Now I'm not an exhibitionist by nature. I don't go around flashing unsuspecting men or women. But I've know all of these people for about 7 years now and I'm pretty comfy around them. All of them came to the hospital after the Stinker was born and while I was just figuring out how to nurse so they've all pretty much seen it anyway. So I'm pretty amused at the thought of said recently divorced friend bringing a new girl on the boat. I'm probably the only one there who will give pause to consider how she might react. Chad (the best friend) will flat out tell her if she doesn't like it she can leave. There is a reason he's been married 4 times and none of them lasted over 2 years. He's a great friend but he can be an ass and makes no apologies. If you don't like him you don't have to be around him.

Even after being with hubby so long I'm still the "new" girl. And this group of guys is about as tight as you can get so it can be intimidating meeting them. Especially all at once. But I guess Chris really likes this woman so I'm hoping I can do my best to make her feel welcome. She's still going to see Chad's penis though. It's like the official initiation. I just hope no one throws her off the boat.

Forbidden

Ever wanted something you just couldn't have? Something that you're certain would make life so much better but also has the possibility of just destroying things? All of a sudden today I'm faced with a situation that forces me to choose between what I want and what is best. Funny I'm finding I'm not altogether on the side of doing what it right. It's not fun facing the fact that you may not be the kind of person you thought you were.

Girly men

I work with alot of men. Out of 400+ employees there may be three dozen women. Most of the guys I come in direct contact with are under thirty. And I've noticed some disturbing trends- blonde highlights, plucked eyebrows, tanning bed overdose, pink shirts, ankle tattoo's, manicures, enough hair gel to fix the Titanic, not to mention the jewelry in every appendage they can poke a hole in. I've never seen a man over 35 dress this way. At least not one that wasn't getting paid to tour. I could never in a million years date a guy that took longer to get ready than I do.

And can I just mention that a man putting his 28 inch waist into 42 waist pants is as bad as a a woman who tries to squeeze a size 14 butt into a size 6 six pant. For God sakes pull up your damn pants. And what's with the outdated wallet chains? It looks like your dog jumped into your back pocket.

My husband is a jeans and t-shirt guy. For special occasions he may substitute a polo shirt or a button up for the t-shirt but you ain't gettin him outta those jeans. Thankfully this is Oklahoma and no one cares. I think I've seen him in khakis twice in 6 years. He would also die before he let you put gel, mousse or dye in his hair. I think he'd cut his head completely off before you got close. As he puts it "that's women stuff." Manicures and pink shirts are so far out of his realm of reality I'm not even sure he'd know what you were talking about.

So where are all the "real" men? The ones who still change their own oil and can rescue me if I have a flat (yes I CAN change it but I'd rather not.)The ones who would protect my honor in a bar and drink beer instead of something in a hurricane glass. Where are the men who hold doors open and help me with my coat?

I could almost understand these failings from a kid of 18 or 19 (not that I would excuse it but I know how teenagers are) but by the time you hit 26 you should have a basic grasp of how treat a woman.

But that makes me think that maybe it's because women aren't the same. Women my age are mostly promiscuous, not very bright, and far from independent. If they aren't demanding respect from these guys then it's no wonder men have gotten so self absorbed.

I just sincerly hope that this is a trend and that thee are other women out there besides my self who are raising their sons to be respectful men. And who will point out to him that maybe a manacurist's chair isn't the best place to pick up a chick.

Some days you're the dog

And some days you're the firehydrant. I'll let you guess what kind of day I'm having.

As an aside does anyone know why my washign machine isn't draining and how I fix it?

Religion in the south

Hubby and I went to a good friends for dinner this evening and he lives pretty far out in the country of our little town. On my way home (hubby stayed to load .223 shells) I noticed there were tiny churches popping up like Starbucks in New York City. Now part of me wants to think that these are all good Christian people who like smaller congregations. But the largest part of me is betting on the awesome tax breaks churches get being the biggest motivator.
It seems to me that at some point half a dozen congregants will get pissy with who ever it is that's leading the church and decide to go it on their own. Most of them are Baptist because, this being Oklahoma and all, we are ate up with Baptist's. I was raised Catholic but haven't been a practicing Catholic since I was about 17. Seems to me once I figure out there was too much politics in religion (and not enough religion in politics) I bailed. I'm a believer for certain, but organized religion really sticks in my craw. Like the bumper sticker I saw once said- "If going to church makes you a Christian, does going to the garage make you a car?"
In any case we are overrun with churches that pop up, literally, over a weekend and take up residence in one of those prefab steel buildings and have a had stenciled wooden sign out front announcing their denomination. most often Baptist followed closely with Church of Christ.
Now my in laws are COC. I've only ever been to their church, so I'm not sure those beliefs are indicative of all COC churches, but even so it left one awful taste in my mouth. Apparently if you believe in the Old Testament, drink, curse, or wear mini skirts you've guaranteed your self a front row seat in Dante's Easy Bake (not sure which blog I stole that little phrase from or I'd give em' credit.) So I asked my FIL, after the one Easter service we attended why the believed in Genesis (which is int he Old Testament) but ignored the rest. No answer. Then I asked why, if drinking was a sin, did Jesus turn water into wine. His answer (brace yourself)- because back then they didn't have refrigerators and the grape juice fermented and turned into wine. I shit you not. So I mentioned that if Jesus had the power to turn water into ANYTHING that I'm betting if he wanted it to stay that way it would, fridge be damned. The man walked on water, I'm pretty sure he could keep grape juice, well, grape juice. He was also completely oblivious to the fact that the Torah consists of the first five books of the Old Testament, only not in the traditional verse by verse form Christians are used to. Even so, Jews, going to hell.
In fact I was in the car one day talking to my husband about how completely nuts his mama is when he mentioned his mama and his grandma (her MIL) didn't get along either. I asked why and he said, "Because Mama and Dad are Christians and Grandma was a Baptist." I. Shit. You. Not. So I had to educate him on the fact that unless you're Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist (or some of those other Eastern religions I'm not up on) you're Christian. Now with in the Christina faith you have Catholics and Protestants but regardless they're all Christian. I'm going to spend a lifetime undoing the crazy nonsense that woman filled him with.
In any case, I guess I've got the God I believe in and he's a hell of a lot nicer guy than my in laws make him out to be. If their God is going to send me to hell for drinking a Tecate and saying 'shit' while wearing a tank top, I don't any part of him.

Being famous doesn't mean grope me

"You don't go grabbin' somebody's husband's balls, you understand me? That's very disrespectful." -- Faith Hill defending the honor of her husband, Tim McGraw, from an overeager fan

OK this story is all over the freaking news. You can view the video here. I've heard a lot people say it comes with the territory. That because the man wears tight pants and is famous it must then be expected that some random (probably drunk fan) gets to grope his crotch and everyone is supposed to be cool with that. Well huh-uh. No way, no how, not happening. You walk up and grab my husband by the dick and you'll be lucky to walk away in one piece. My husband's physician and I are the only one's that get that privilege. Not to mention I can't fathom the kind of woman that would go up and molest some strange man. Especially if you can see he's with his wife/girlfriend/whatever. I don't care if Patrick Dempsey was sitting in front of me in a thong and leather chaps I'm not going to grab his dick. He's married. And if I did and his wife chose to beat what little sense I had right outta me, I wouldn't blame her. Expecting Faith to be any different b/c she's famous is ridiculous. And I give her major kudos. Because for that moment she wasn't Faith Hill The Famous Singer. She was Tim McGraw's wife. And in that moment she reminded everyone she is a real person, with real feelings, and real insecurities. And I respect that.

Another reason....

Everyone should properly trained and armed. Because when the police can't afford to fix their only car it's up to you to protect yourself. This would be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

To my husband

I don't tell you ant of these things nearly as often as you deserve to hear them. So I'm immortalizing them here online so everyone will know how much I appreciate you.
I'd like to thank you for supporting me. When I told you I wanted to start competition pistol shooting you immediately went out and bought me the best pistol we could afford. When I mentioned I'd like to start hunting you set up a trip just for me. When I told you i wanted to go back and get my graduate degree you paid for my books and picked up the slack at home so I would have more time to study. When I look tired you always mange to find something fun for you and our son to do out of the house so I can nap.
I never have to worry about my oil changes, the yard work, the leaky toilet or having the propane filled. You aren't very talkative at all, much less about your "feelings." But these things say more to me than any amount of flowers or jewelry or cards.
You're an amazing father. Our son will never have to feel the way you and your brothers do. He'll never wonder why you never took him fishing or hunting. He'll never lack for someone to practice pitching or tackles. No matter how badly your knees hurt you never complain when he wants you to lay in the floor and be his jungle gym. When he falls or gets hurt you always manage to beat me to him to ask if he's OK and to give him hugs. You're also faithful in sneaking him candy and ice cream.
You remember my birthday and our anniversary. You ask me why I bother putting on make up. And you mean it. You're patient with me me when even Job wouldn't be. You tolerate my mood swings even if it means leaving until I calm down down.
You understand how I communicate and it doesn't bother you when I have lunch with other men. You know I'm coming home to you and you never doubt that.
You loved my stomach when it was flat and you love it still even with my C cection scar and the stretch marks. Even now, 6 years later and 20 pounds heaver, you tell me, often, how sexy I am.
I love that your a "big" man. You always make me feel safe and I get a kick out of buying you dress shirts and telling them you have a 48" chest. I find you incredibly sexy. Even if you do think your fat (you're not.)
I never imagined that I would fall in love with someone more than a decade older than me but I also never imagined I could love someone this much. You're the first person I want to call when something good (or bad) happens. We've had hard roads, and easy ones, but we always come out at the end, together.
I respect how hard you worked so I could stay home with our son and I can never thank you enough. There is nothing I can't do with you by my side.
Our anniversary is in a few weeks and I can't believe it's all gone so fast. Here's to a lifetime of anniversary's with you. To watching our son grow and spending our last years going senile together.

Men

Hubby and I have what I call "couple" friends. Married friends of ours that we don't really hang out with separately, only as couples. Two of these couples share an issue. The men are assholes.
One couple lives in far southeastern Oklahoma. Ever seen Deliverance? Yep, it's like that. The guy is closer to my age than hubby's (we're 11 years apart) and is the son of FIL's best friend who owns the land they hunt on every year. He also has a sister who is closer in age to my husband. As a for instance, just so you'll get a small grasp of their mindset, the first year I went down to deer camp (I wasn't allowed to go before we were married b/c we would have had to sleep in separate campers) we were all sitting around the campfire chatting. The daughter/sister is telling us about the Halloween party her 15 year old daughter had. Black powder season always starts around Halloween here. She says "This boy walked into the party and he was :whispering: BLACK!" Because my mouth lacks a filter the first thing out of my mouth was "Why are you whispering? Does he not know he's black?" That earned an elbow from the my other half. Hunting leases are expensive and we're lucky not to have to pay for this land.
So every year we go down I feel like I've stepped into the 1950's. Where I'm supposed to keep the kid, clean the house, and wait hand and foot on my husband. Thankfully my husband knows better and picks up his own damn laundry as well as sharing the dinner responsibilities. So for the first time a few weeks ago this couple comes up to "the city." Which is funny b/c my town isn't even close to being a city, but I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder.
So up they come, with their 7 month old baby, and her pregnant again. This is when I notice what an ass he is. He's constantly riding her about her weight. Yeah she's heavy, but she was heavy before you married her so it isn't as if it should shock you. When his glass is empty he raises it at her and shakes it so the ice rattles. Which, my husband knows, would earn him a lap full of ice. If you want me to get you something to drink, ASK ME, politely, don't assume I'm at your beck and call. We all know what assuming does.
So after a day of listening to the fat jokes, listening to him bitch b/c he has to "babysit" while she takes a shower (when you father the child it isn't babysitting, it's parenting!) then listening to him bitch b/c it takes her too long to get ready (it would help if you would take the baby out of her arms while she does her hair) and listening, worst of all, to him tell her what "better women" my SIL and I are b/c our houses are clean. (Hello, we cleaned for company. You should see my living room any other day. Looks like Toys R US threw up.) I realize I'm less pissed at him for being an ass than I am at her FOR TAKING IT!
T he other couple we know that do this also consists of an ass and a heavy gal. Why do fat women put up with this shit? Is it a self esteem issue? Is it deeper than that? Why would you allow someone to treat you that way? I know not all heavy women put up with it but the trend seems to be alot more rampant with them then with thin to average women. It pisses me off that there are men out there that treat women this way but, as a women, it frustrates me more to see women putting up with it. I want to tell them that they don't have to. That they're beautiful and successful women who don't need that crap.
The couple From SE OK is a little different b/c of the general mindset there. But the other couple lives right here in central OK where women have been equals for at least a decade. There both college graduates who teach high school and just built an amazing new home I would kill for. Unfortunately for us they're moving. To SE Oklahoma. Wonder if that's a coincidence?
I really enjoy these women. I know they deserve better. Their children deserve a better example. What kind of life are their girls going to have if this is how they think men should treat women? And the boys? If I ever hear my son speak to a woman that way he will understand that he is never to big for me to lay into him. I'm so thankful that my husband sets such a good example. He reminds me that even though there is a world full of assholes out there, that true gentlemen still exist.
Of course none of them are under 30 or live in SE OK. Which reminds me, what is it with men in their twenties that makes me want to strangle them?