It's the small things

I've been curious about cranberry farming since I saw the flooded fields in whatever that juice commercial is. Every time I see it I tell my husband I wish I knew how they DO that. Today I come home and on the TiVo I see an episode of Dirty Jobs. In it mike Rowe is making bricks and.... farming cranberries. No amount of flowers or candy in the world makes me feel more special than knowing that not only does my husband listen and rememeber the seemingly insignificant things I tell him, he cares enough to act on it. He doesn't even WATCH Dirty Jobs. TiVo'd cranberry farming... that's true love.

Broken filter

My dad has always told me that God forgot to install the filter bewtween my brain and my mouth. My internal filter is beyond repair. You wnat butt pats you've coem to the wrong palce. Which means if you come to me whining for advice I will give it to you, uncensored and unrrated. If you then shoot down Every. Single. Suggestion I make with some lame excuse be prepared. I will tell you that it isn't your husband's fault your marriage is in the shitter. The man TOLD you exactly what he needed and you continued to ignore him. You made excuses about conflicting schedules and kids that get "upset" about going to bed early and about how you don't want to go outside and do things becasue its cooooooooooold. Guess what? We he leaves your whining excuses to find a woman that will LISTEN to him, you will get no sympathy from me. Men are simple. If you've already had sex, make him a damn sandwich. Put the kid to bed early no matter how pissed she gets. Better to have a slighty mad 2 year old than to be a single mother. You have a husband who cares enough to tell you what he needs changed (and has reasonable requests) and didn't just immediatly try to replace your bitchy ass (I wouldn't have blamed him.)

It comes down to one thing- The best gift you can give your child is to love her father. He is not there only to pay bills and make sperm donations. He has needs and feelings and he's TRYING for God's sake. Try with him!!! And stop whinign to me. I ran out of cheese ages ago.

Mrs. Manners is having a stroke

I'm floored at the sheer tackyness that abounds. Seriously. I'm awestruck.

My husband's best friend is getting "married" on the 15th. I use that term loosely because they have lived together 12 years and have an 11 year old daughter. For all intents and purposes they're married. In any case they have deiced to have it made official. Whatever. He's 38, she's 40 what's the fucking point?

So we get an invitation to the, well, not to the actual wedding, that's just for immediate family, but to the reception. Then I get an invite to a bridal shower complete with super tacky registry info included. Now let me get this straight. You've lived together over a decade. You're child in is junior high. You just bought a brand new 140k dollar house on 10 acres. And you want ME to buy YOU a fucking present?! Really? You have GOT to be shitting me.

Now as if that wasn't enough, the future Mr. Tacky has decided to have a bachelor party. Hello numbnuts! You haven't been a bachelor since the early nineties! I'm sure there will be copious amounts of drinking(which I suppose is fine on rare occasions) but there will also be mostly naked women. No way Jose. I don't roll that way. We haven't talked about it but if my husband is even entertaining the thought of attending this oh so classy affair he is sadly mistaken.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not (usually) one of those women. I don't care what he does most of the time. Fishing, hunting, football whatever. Fine. I want to spend time with my friends too. However we attend the ballet, nice restaurants our husband's think are "girly." We go to the movies, to baseball games etc. We do NOT however go to bars unescorted. I'm not going to toot my own horn too much but I'm not bad looking and I KNOW that if I patronize a place generally used to pick up a drunken conquest I will get hit on. And then I have to explain what that ring on my left finger means and that yes, I know you don't care if I'm married, but my 6'3" 250lb husband cares and you would do well to back. the. fuck. off. And I certainly don't attend functions where some naked man is going to be gyrating his goods in lap. No thank you. That's less appealing than, and not nearly as productive as, sticking flaming toothpicks in one's eardrums.


In other words I do not place my self in unsavory conditions that could, given one too many tequila shots, be detrimental to my marriage. I'm hoping my husband feels the same way. Because if he doesn't he will soon enough. No matter what kind of convincing it takes. And he would do well to remember my concealed carry license.

Hard times, good life

My husband and I have had some rough times lately. I was 19 when we met, he was 29. He knew who he was. I had no idea. I'm older now, 25, and I've got a lot more to learn. But I've come a long way in the last few years. Unfortunately, there are some things I can't get through my thick head. One, is that in a marriage, when you're needs change, it's a hell of a good idea to notify your partner. Seems most people *can't* read minds and it helps them out a whole bunch if you just tell em what you want. Especially when it's a man. Whoops.

So for the last six months Ed and I have been just awful to each other. I'd get shitty when he'd so something I didn't like. But he didn't know he'd done something I didn't like so I just came off looking like a crazy bitch. So he'd get shitty back. Then that would piss me off more. Seeing the pattern yet?

Well last week it finally came to a head. Seems when you talk things out, and you really do love each other, and you've got just about the cutest little boy in the world to think about, there just isn't much you can't work through. I updated him on what I need, he did the same and we've spent alot of time making sure we get those needs met. He's being more affectionate, helping out around the house more. I'm making sure to get enough sleep (which means not only am I happier but I have the energy for a certain mariatal obligation *wink wink*)and I really watch my tone of voice when I speak to him.

Thank God it's been this this simple to fix. We've also agreed to have regular "maintenance" talks so we don't get to this point again. We've been married 4 years so we've got a long way to go and I know this is just one of many bumps in the road. But I sure do love that man. And that goes a long way.

Speaking of love

Seems two of my favorite people in the blog world are all in love and stuff. Which is totally wonderful and I wish the best for them. I do hope we get the occasional peak into their budding relationship though. Cause I'm nosey like that. Just sayin.

And here in my own little love bubble it's my 4 year wedding anniversary! We'll be going out to Charleston's with our maid of honor/best man (who are also married) on Saturday just as we do every year. But today is just for us. So tonight I'll be cooking my amazing husband his favorite meal (with dessert) and afterwards he'll get to see what I bought at Victoria's Secret yesterday. :wink wink: I can't believe it's been four years. He's given me patience, strength, the ability to trust and to be myself. He also helped me create the cutest little bugger ever whom we both just adore. I look forward to many more years of parenting, loving, and laughs with him. I hope everyone finds this kind of love someday!

Men

Hubby and I have what I call "couple" friends. Married friends of ours that we don't really hang out with separately, only as couples. Two of these couples share an issue. The men are assholes.
One couple lives in far southeastern Oklahoma. Ever seen Deliverance? Yep, it's like that. The guy is closer to my age than hubby's (we're 11 years apart) and is the son of FIL's best friend who owns the land they hunt on every year. He also has a sister who is closer in age to my husband. As a for instance, just so you'll get a small grasp of their mindset, the first year I went down to deer camp (I wasn't allowed to go before we were married b/c we would have had to sleep in separate campers) we were all sitting around the campfire chatting. The daughter/sister is telling us about the Halloween party her 15 year old daughter had. Black powder season always starts around Halloween here. She says "This boy walked into the party and he was :whispering: BLACK!" Because my mouth lacks a filter the first thing out of my mouth was "Why are you whispering? Does he not know he's black?" That earned an elbow from the my other half. Hunting leases are expensive and we're lucky not to have to pay for this land.
So every year we go down I feel like I've stepped into the 1950's. Where I'm supposed to keep the kid, clean the house, and wait hand and foot on my husband. Thankfully my husband knows better and picks up his own damn laundry as well as sharing the dinner responsibilities. So for the first time a few weeks ago this couple comes up to "the city." Which is funny b/c my town isn't even close to being a city, but I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder.
So up they come, with their 7 month old baby, and her pregnant again. This is when I notice what an ass he is. He's constantly riding her about her weight. Yeah she's heavy, but she was heavy before you married her so it isn't as if it should shock you. When his glass is empty he raises it at her and shakes it so the ice rattles. Which, my husband knows, would earn him a lap full of ice. If you want me to get you something to drink, ASK ME, politely, don't assume I'm at your beck and call. We all know what assuming does.
So after a day of listening to the fat jokes, listening to him bitch b/c he has to "babysit" while she takes a shower (when you father the child it isn't babysitting, it's parenting!) then listening to him bitch b/c it takes her too long to get ready (it would help if you would take the baby out of her arms while she does her hair) and listening, worst of all, to him tell her what "better women" my SIL and I are b/c our houses are clean. (Hello, we cleaned for company. You should see my living room any other day. Looks like Toys R US threw up.) I realize I'm less pissed at him for being an ass than I am at her FOR TAKING IT!
T he other couple we know that do this also consists of an ass and a heavy gal. Why do fat women put up with this shit? Is it a self esteem issue? Is it deeper than that? Why would you allow someone to treat you that way? I know not all heavy women put up with it but the trend seems to be alot more rampant with them then with thin to average women. It pisses me off that there are men out there that treat women this way but, as a women, it frustrates me more to see women putting up with it. I want to tell them that they don't have to. That they're beautiful and successful women who don't need that crap.
The couple From SE OK is a little different b/c of the general mindset there. But the other couple lives right here in central OK where women have been equals for at least a decade. There both college graduates who teach high school and just built an amazing new home I would kill for. Unfortunately for us they're moving. To SE Oklahoma. Wonder if that's a coincidence?
I really enjoy these women. I know they deserve better. Their children deserve a better example. What kind of life are their girls going to have if this is how they think men should treat women? And the boys? If I ever hear my son speak to a woman that way he will understand that he is never to big for me to lay into him. I'm so thankful that my husband sets such a good example. He reminds me that even though there is a world full of assholes out there, that true gentlemen still exist.
Of course none of them are under 30 or live in SE OK. Which reminds me, what is it with men in their twenties that makes me want to strangle them?