Grad school sucks

It's one in the after noon. I woke up about 7, showered, got dressed, took the kiddo out to breakfast, put him in front of a movie (I HATE HATE HATE doing that), wrote an essay, got kiddo ready to go with his grandma, did a discussion board assignment, appeased my "starving" husband (yeah, right) and went to lunch, came back did another discussion board assignment and now I'm taking a break. I still have to write to journal type essays and take a 45 minute (timed) test. And pray while I'm taking the test that nothing disturbs me b/c once you start the timer you cannot stop it. Oh and there's a 15 minute extra credit portion i have to do so that id something does disturb me and I tank the test at least I'll have a little cushion. On top of that hubby wants me to get up at 1 am tomorrow to go freaking fishing. Fishing at one in the G*d damn morning. I may be a little nutty but I'm not insane. My ass is staying planted in my warm bed. That is if I don't throw this computer and myself out the damn window before I finish all of my homework.

Hung up wet

School is kicking my butt. I'm almost certain I'll never take more than one summer class ever again.
My child will be 2 1/2 on July 6th and he's driving me nuts. Seriously. Maybe saying that makes me the Bad Parent of the Year but at this point I'm too tired to care. In order to get any studying done I have to ship him to his grandma's, which he loves, but makes me feel guilty. Why is it that no one tells you before you have kids that the feeling you get the most after love is guilt?
He's taken to whining. I HATE whining. I can handle screaming better that whining. And I have no idea how to make him knock it off. I don't even know if he knows he's doing it.
My husband is acting like a 2 year old. He has these little tantrums. I don't deal with 35 year old men who throw tantrums. If he wants to have his little hissy fits it's fine, but he can do it on his own time. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to put up with his crap before I blow my top. I'm starting to think I'm not cut out to be married. I may be too damn independent and not nearly patient enough. And between trying to balance school, my child and the household crap I don't have the desire or the energy to try and change my personality now. Besides I like who I am. The issue is I don't give a damn if anyone else does.
Thanks to my mother and her incessant nitpicking I also feel awful b/c my house isn't spotless. It isn't dirty per say, just cluttered. I'm starting to think if I have to clean my house to have you over, I just don't want you in my house.
Alright I'm done bitching for a minute. But it's only 11 am, still plenty of time for things to go to hell. I also feel guilty for bitching at all when I know there are people out there who have it way worse than I do. But I still get to have bad days right?

If I wanted to be read to....

I'd have stayed in kindergarten. I'm taking online courses through the local university. Three classes this summer and another 3 this fall (plus one on campus.) So I log into the software last night and load all my classes so that I can read the syllabus, course requirements, assignments and so on. I shit you not, two of the class syllabus' say something to the effect of "I'm a lazy professor who's only here b/c during my retirement I realized just how boring my life actually was. So while I'm here collecting a paycheck what I need you to do is read the textbook. That's it. Just read the damn thing and take the tests so I can get my kickbacks for requiring that you buy that particular book that cost so much it should be plated in gold and rubies."

These are not bullshit classes. This is my MASTER'S degree for christssake. Maybe I was expecting a little much just b/c I paid $75 a credit hour for these courses. Maybe I'm naive enough to think that my professor, who's knocking down six figures a year, might actually be motivated to teach me something instead of testing my cognitive reading ability.

I'm in my mid 20's. I got a Bachelor's degree, got married, had a child. I have what the college likes to refer to as "life experience." I KNOW that college is more than just studying to obtain a degree. What about the young kids? The 21 year old's who are starting a master's program and honestly think that as long as they can memorize information they can survive in a actual job. Because reciting information back to professors is all they've ever had to do.

What happens when they get into social work and have to share an office with a woman that could direct a NASA launch with all of the unnecessary electronic devices she has strapped to her person and is more concerned about what she's doing after work that the beaten, starving child she's supposed to be helping? Are they gong to have the balls to stand up to her and remind her that the world is made up of millions of planets in millions of universes and not a damn one of them revolve around her? Are they going to be able to realize that protocol is a wonderful guideline, but that if you want to save a child's life, sometimes you have to step out of that nice little box you've built yourself and *think on your own?*
I can say with absolute certainty that with this type of educational professionals (and I use that term loosely) teaching, that the future generation of social workers is going to manage to fuck up the system even worse than it is now. Makes me wish I'd gone into politics where no one actually expects you to accomplish anything.

"I'm from the government and I'm here to help!"- Ronald Reagan (loved this man's sense of humor)

Embarrassment, a learning tool

At what point in our society did not hurting some one's feelings become more important than being honest with someone? And at what point does sugar coating the world for those that feel they "deserve" something do them more harm than good?
I have a niece and a nephew that are 13. They are, for the most part, "good kids." They don't drink or do drugs and haven't yet moved beyond a natural curiosity involving the opposite sex. Yet they have been told through out their respective schooling that they are the smart kids and that everything comes easy to them.
Suddenly now, at the end of 7th grade, they are both failing. However said failure isn't there fault. It is the fault of the teacher for not coddling them and making sure every assignment was turned in. It is the fault of the school for not hiring better teachers and for putting the kids in Advanced Placement classes that are just too hard for them (Neither one of them was failing before Christmas.) It's the states fault for not allotting the schools enough money to hire better teachers and more of them.
Now I'm not going to say that their teachers, school board and the state aren't somewhat at fault here. Having never met them I'd be passing premature judgement. However the one thing I see missing here is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.
I don't give a rats ass how shitty your teachers are, you still have to turn in the assignment. If you know you're having trouble, at 13 years old, it is your responsibility to seek out help. If you are too embarrassed to seek help and then lie to your parents when they ask how you're doing it's still you're fault. Because now instead of being embarrassed about not grasping the skills you need in class (which is a skill you will invariably need to complete the rest of the class) you are now going to embarrassed because you'll be repeating the 7th grade.
Of course knowing these kids and their parents, they'll be shuffled along to the 8th grade. Even more unprepared but spared the embarrassment of become a second year 7th grader. Why have we suddenly decided that the best way to deal with our children being embarrassed is to save them from the embarrassment? Is upholding the facade more important than learning a life lesson? Is being taken down a notch or two really going to damage their "self esteem" so much that they will not learn to move on, and maybe be a little stronger , a little wiser and a little more humble?
I fear for the next few generations who have fallen into this time of no personal accountability and is preached to the importance of self esteem. Seems odd to me that you are expected to have a high self esteem without ever having done anything to justify it. I want my child to be proud of himself for accomplishing things. For persevering through a rough or difficult task only to emerge victorious at the end. I do not want him to think that such pride (or self esteem) is something that is inherent to you because you were lucky enough to be born.
And if his wise ass manages to fail the 7th grade b/c he didn't think he needed to hand in the assignments he deemed "stupid", well he'll just get to try it again until he gets it right. And maybe a little embarrassment will motivate him the next time.