Friday, July 6, 2007
20/20
Hindsight that is. I hate being taken advantage of. What I hate worse is when I don't see it coming. I met a nice guy about several months ago and we got to be pretty good friends. He would call once or twice a week and we'd chat. He was always very nice and funny and very supportive of me. He's married, so am I. I never asked to meet his wife, had no reason to. My husband knew I'd made a friend at work and didn't think anything of it. He's quite a bit older than I am so I never invited him to anything but lunch b/c the age gap is just too wide. Regardless, he seemed sweet enough and I enjoyed his company. So today I find out from one of his coworkers that he's been telling people we're sleeping together. Now know how gossip works in a small town and especially in his field so I invite him out to lunch b/c I'm not one to go jumping to conclusions. I want to hear it from the horses mouth so to speak. Guess what? While he swears he never said we had anything going, he did mention that his wife knew nothing about me (red flag) and that he wouldn't be opposed to something happening. Jerk. Once he figured out that nothing was going to happen he couldn't get away fast enough. I'm not a stupid woman. I'm not naive. I'm also not sure how this asshole slipped my radar. I didn't even see the headlights before the truck hit. The whole thing is a shame b/c I really liked him. I felt like he "got" me and not many people do. It also seem sodd that one would invest that much time into a frtiendship just for sex. I got to second guessing my self thinking that maybe thsoe weren't his intentions all along and that maybe when the opportunity arose he decided to test the waters. Then I recall the look on his face and I get pissed off all over again. I just know he's going to call again. I'm not sure what to say. My first instinct is to eat his ass off. It'll make me feel better but there;s always a chance I'll come off looking like an idiot. I could nicely tell him I don't think we should speak anymore but that doesn't seem satisfying at all. I hate days like this. Like Jay G said "Some days you're the windshield and some days you're the bug." Today I'm the bug.
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6 comments:
It also seems odd that one would invest that much time into a frtiendship just for sex.
That's what makes him part of the "dangerous men" club. The ones who are patient and work their way into things - and who are willing to continue to do so - those are predators.
I know them well.
It's not unusual at all. He's just older and has had time and experience enough to hone his craft.
Welcome to my world.
Geez, there's an entire club? I hate it when I let people make me feel stupid.
No, hun, not stupid. Just a bit young and inexperienced with the skilled sociopaths of the world - at least on a personal level. Trust me - this is not the kind of experience you want to rack up - better to just arm yourself with knowledge of these guys and their various games - everyone is a target - and never beat yourself up for thinking the best of people. The onus is on them for being what they are, not you for having some faith.
Ultimately, with friends like that who needs enemies?
You're right, I don't want that kind of experience. I have a lot of faith in people in general and thay don't usually dissapoint me. Guess you win some and you lose some. I feel bad for his wife though. Who knows what (or who) else he's doing!
Yep, the wife has a lot on her hands, for sure. And he's probably just as smooth with her. But they always get found out, eventually. Hopefully she's one with a good gut and has somebody on his tail and documenting his assets if he has any, before he can hide them - which they tend to do once they sense they're being sniffed out.
They can also be very dangerous once they sense they're being sniffed out.
But for your part, you'll just drive yourself crazy trying to figure him out. He may well keep trying to play the game, coming around and apologizing for his response and blaming it on a "bad day" or whatever. But you mentioned the look on his face when you told him it wasn't going to happen - was there darkness in his eyes even for just a split second? That's the biggest danger sign of all. Don't buy it. True friends - and your marriage - are too precious to waste your time and energies on something like that.
Thee wasn't so much a darkness as an unmistakeable annoyance at having discovered that he's wasted his time. At that point you could tell he couldn't wait to get out. Thankfully for me my husband finds it amusing when men think they're going to get anywhere with me. He says it's sad that men hit on married women (and then throws in a comment about how they at least have good taste for picking me LOL I love that man!)
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